"I Dream of Mariupol Being Ukrainian Again": The Story of Iryna, Who Escaped War and Violence

Mariupol is the city that Iryna Hadar and her son were forced to leave due to Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine in 2022. She survived shelling, a dangerous escape, and life in uncertainty. Eventually, Iryna found a new home and rediscovered herself. Her story is not only about loss, strength, and courage—it is also about how support from UN Women in Ukraine and The United Nations Women’s Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF) helped her recognize the violence she had experienced before the war. 

Read more about Iryna’s journey below. 

“You Need to Leave”: A Turning Point in Escaping Mariupol 

Before the full-scale invasion, Iryna Hadar lived in Mariupol with her son. On February 24, 2022, the war caught them off guard at home. 

“We never expected this,” she recalls. “I really hoped it would end quickly, but by the end of February, it was clear that things were only getting worse. At first, the explosions were far away, and then they suddenly got closer.” 

Iryna’s apartment building, located in central Mariupol, was hit multiple times on the upper floors. 

“I know how terrifying it is when the building shakes, and you realize that any second could be your last,” she says. 

At first, Iryna and her son stayed in their apartment, but after the blast wave shattered their windows and the freezing cold set in, they moved into the basement. Dozens of people had already gathered there—not only from their building but from the surrounding ones as well. 

With constant shelling and no communication, Iryna wasn’t sure whether to leave Mariupol or not. Then, one day, a Ukrainian soldier delivering food to civilians told her, “You need to leave.” 

“It was said with so much emotion and sincerity that I realized—it was time to go,” Iryna remembers. 

As she pulled up to her building to grab a few belongings, shelling began nearby. There was no time to hesitate. She and her son took only water, some food, their documents, and their cat—and they left. 

They initially found shelter with acquaintances in the city’s Primorsky district, but heavy shelling soon began there too. One morning, while cooking over an open fire, Iryna met a man who was planning to leave for Zaporizhzhia. 

“I asked when he was leaving, and he said, ‘In five minutes.’ We didn’t even have time to eat—we had those five minutes. So he, my son, and I got into my car and left,” she recalls. 

The journey to Zaporizhzhia was fraught with danger, especially at Russian checkpoints, where they were repeatedly told they could only go to occupied Crimea. It took days of waiting and a stroke of luck to finally join a convoy heading toward Zaporizhzhia. 

Once they arrived, they barely had time to rest before heading further to Dnipro—a city where they knew no one and had no place to stay. 

A New Beginning in Dnipro 

Finding shelter was challenging, as most were overcrowded, but eventually, Iryna and her son were taken in by one that offered them peace, quiet, and warmth for about ten days. 

Initially, they had planned to move west, but everything changed when Iryna’s son learned that his university had been evacuated to Dnipro. He needed to be there for classes in just a few days. 

Thanks to volunteers, they found an apartment where they still live today. Though unemployed, Iryna dedicates herself to volunteer work, organizing activities for displaced children and teenagers. 

“I arrange games, mini-trainings, and excursions to broaden their horizons. The kids have already visited the city’s organ hall and historical museum,” she says. 

Facing the Past: Life with an Abuser Before the War 

Before the war, Iryna had been in an abusive marriage for nearly ten years. Her husband had initially hidden his psychological abuse tendencies, but red flags appeared about a year and a half into their relationship. 

“He controlled himself so well before the wedding that I never imagined he would become my abuser,” she says. 

She was only able to finalize their divorce at the end of 2021. 

“All the legal issues were settled, and at the beginning of 2022, I thought I could finally breathe freely. But then the war began,” Iryna adds. 

“I Did Everything Right”: How a Training on Gender-Based Violence Brought Clarity 

In June 2024, Iryna attended a five-day training on preventing and responding to domestic and gender-based violence, organized in Dnipro by the Slavic Heart charity fund with the support of UN Women in Ukraine and WPHF. 

“I found the training through social media. This topic is important to me because I have lived through it. The training gave me knowledge and helped me structure it. I realized that I did everything right in leaving that relationship,” she says. 

Inspired by the experience, Iryna decided to write a small book about gender-based violence, detailing her journey—from the beginning of her relationship to her escape. 

“The purpose of the book is to show how I fought for myself and how every woman must fight for herself. Nothing is more valuable than your life. No material possessions can replace your psychological and physical well-being. If you have an abuser in your life, leave. And if necessary, run,” Iryna says. 

Iryna plans to publish this book. As for her thoughts on the future, she tearfully says, “I dream of Mariupol being Ukrainian again.” 

–––––––––––– 

The project is produced by the CF “Slavic Heart”, funded by The United Nations Women’s Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF) with technical support of UN Women Ukraine. The United Nations Women’s Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF) mobilizes critical support for local and grassroots civil society organizations working on women, peace and security and humanitarian action. WPHF is a flexible and rapid financing mechanism supporting quality interventions designed to enhance the capacity of women to prevent conflict, respond to crises and emergencies, and seize key peacebuilding opportunities. 

This publication is produced with funding from the United Nations Women’s Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF), however, the views expressed and content included does not imply official endorsement or acceptance by the United Nations.