“In our groups, everyone is equal”: the story of Kateryna Kobzii, who turned her own pain into support for others

Kateryna Kobzii, participant in the psycho-emotional stabilization program "Unbreakable Mom". Photo: NGO "Masha Fund" 

“The woman standing next to you in line may be blaming herself for not being a good enough mother or wondering whether she will have the strength to wait for her loved one to return from captivity. We are all people. We have the right to experience not only positive emotions, but difficult ones too.” 

These are the words of Kateryna Kobzii, whose life was turned upside down by Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine. The war took away her sense of security, shattered her family, and forced her to rebuild her life from scratch. Yet in one of the darkest periods of her life, she found the strength to support other women. 

Kateryna first completed facilitator training through the “Guides of Change. Peer-to-Peer” program run by the NGO «Masha Foundation». Later, she became a participant in the "Unbreakable Mom" psychosocial support program, and today she leads women's support groups in her hometown of Bakhmach as part of the program implemented with technical support from UN Women Ukraine and funded by the United Nations Women’s Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF). 

But before becoming a source of strength for others, Kateryna had to find her own way from despair to healing.

Life before the full-scale invasion

Kateryna Kobzii is a mother of two, a psychologist, educator, philologist, and event host who now facilitates support groups in the town of Bakhmach in Ukraine’s Chernihiv region.   

When Russia launched its full-scale invasion, Kateryna was working at a local school. She remembers discussing the possibility of war with a colleague, a history and law teacher. “We kept saying that war simply couldn't happen. People are supposed to learn from history. They know the horrific consequences of previous wars.” A few hours later, her godmother called to tell her that the invasion had begun. 

“Russian military vehicles were driving through Bakhmach. Hundreds, thousands of tanks. Everything was shaking. The ground trembled beneath us. That was the first panic attack I had ever experienced. I truly believed it was the end.” 

Although nearby villages were occupied, Bakhmach remained under Ukrainian control. 

A war that tested their family  

In the first days of the invasion, Kateryna’s husband joined Ukraine’s Territorial Defense Forces. As the security situation deteriorated, she temporarily left the city with their children and stayed in a nearby village. 

The war exposed deep cracks in their relationship. While her husband was serving, Kateryna worked on several jobs to repay the family’s mortgage while raising two children on her own. Exhaustion, stress, and constant arguments became part of daily life. 

A year later, her husband was mobilized into the Armed Forces of Ukraine as a driver of a medical evacuation vehicle. Kateryna helped him obtain military equipment and supported him in every way she could. Despite that, the emotional distance between them continued to grow. 

“One of my jobs has always been hosting celebrations and events. Naturally, I couldn't show up in sweatpants—I had to dress professionally. But after hearing stories from fellow soldiers about unfaithful wives, my husband became increasingly jealous. Every event became another reason for conflict.”

A loss that changed everything 

For a year and a half, Kateryna’s husband served in some of the most dangerous areas of Donetsk region. When he finally returned home, he was gravely ill. Alongside diabetes, he had developed a severe stomach ulcer caused by poor nutrition and constant stress. Eventually, he was hospitalized weighing just 38 kilograms. 

By then, the couple had already separated, and Kateryna struggled between wanting to help him and staying true to the difficult decisions she had made for herself. In April 2025, her husband passed away.    

“I still had to work to pay off loans and debts. Just one week after the funeral, I was back hosting an event. It’s impossible to explain how you can grieve, feel guilty, celebrate, survive, and support others all at once. There were days and nights when I cried for hours, woke up with swollen eyes, and went to work because I had a family to provide for.” 

Learning that became a lifeline 

Kateryna says that learning—and helping others—saved her from reaching rock bottom. From the beginning of the invasion, she enrolled in every psychology training she could find because she felt that supporting people was what she was meant to do. 

That path led her to the “Guides of Change. Peer-to-Peer” program run by the NGO "Masha Foundation", where participants were trained to become facilitators of women’s support groups. Throughout the training, they explored difficult topics such as grief, guilt, and psychological trauma. Every participant carried her own painful experiences, creating an atmosphere built on empathy, trust, and mutual support. After completing the program, Kateryna launched her first support group, bringing together everything she had learned—and everything she had lived through. 

“Unbreakable Mom”: a space to finally breathe 

It was during the facilitator training that Kateryna first learned about the "Unbreakable Mom" program, implemented with technical support from UN Women Ukraine and funded by the United Nations Women’s Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF). After her husband's death, when she realized she could no longer cope emotionally on her own, she applied to the program. 

For the first time in a long while, she allowed herself to pause. The program reminded her that caring for herself was not a luxury—it was essential if she wanted to continue caring for her children. 

“This program gave me the strength and emotional resources to keep moving forward and continue helping others. I also met incredible women, and some of us are still in touch today. My children made friends too. Most importantly, we found our way back to each other. They were devastated by their father's death, and because I was working so much, I simply couldn't give them all the attention they needed.” 

Today, Kateryna facilitates mixed support groups that bring together internally displaced women, wives of military personnel, and mothers who have lost their children in the war. Most participants arrive emotionally exhausted, searching for a place where they can feel heard, understood, and supported. 
They find that space in the group. 

“I know I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. I will keep learning and helping others without forgetting to care for myself. There is no greater joy than watching broken hearts and wounded souls come together to build a strong community of women who support one another.” 

The “Unbreakable Mom” project is implemented by the NGO  “Masha Foundation” funded by The United Nations Women’s Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF) with technical support of UN Women Ukraine. The United Nations Women’s Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF) mobilizes critical support for local and grassroots civil society organizations working on women, peace and security and humanitarian action. WPHF is a flexible and rapid financing mechanism supporting quality interventions designed to enhance the capacity of women to prevent conflict, respond to crises and emergencies, and seize key peacebuilding opportunities. 

This publication is produced with funding from the United Nations Women's Peace and Humanitarian Fund (WPHF), however, the views expressed and content included do not imply official endorsement or acceptance by the United Nations.